Marriage Makeover. Turn It Up!

So you met that really cute guy in college, took an instant liking for his slow sweet smile, went out on a date, discovered that you both have a lot in common, dreamt of a life together, of home and hearth…

Got married, had a baby and then …as the years rolled by, the cute guy was replaced by a complete stranger. The face that you once loved changed and with the appearance of fine lines and gray hairs, there was the appearance of a disconnect, boredom, a lost spark, missing magic…

So what should you do? Log on to the various networking sites in the hope of getting some novelty back? Look for love again? Or should you try and get the good times flowing?

First of all do understand that all marriages go through a period where things are mighty stagnant. The ‘seven-year-itch’ was not coined for a single couple, rather in recognition of a common phenomenon. Only today the itch makes an appearance much sooner.

So what should you do to recreate the magic? Our tips.

· How long has it been since you’ve played a temptress? Before the baby came? Perhaps. That’s got to change, today, right now. Get out the sexy lingerie, the aphrodisiacs, the Kamasutra and whatever ammo you think can get your man craving. Your grandma was slightly off target when she said that the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. So go, launch an attack on your man, the kind he’ll love.

· Do something that’ll introduce romance back. Go out on a date. Leave the kids with someone you can trust. Act as if you have just met him. Dress for the part. Be interested in him more than anything else. Be the girl he once took out. Later carry the vibes to the bedroom and voila! Magic!

· Get out of your home. Take a vacation. A change of place can make it easier to look at your man in a newer light. With household chores off your mind, you’ll find it easier to bond big time.

· Tell him what you love about him, especially his manly moves. Some positive stroking can go a long way and lead to strokes of another kind.

· Do not be a clingy girl. Get a life of your own. A hobby, work that takes you out, friends, anything that’ll make him feel less suffocated. Let him loose and allow him his soccer game-meets-friends-meets-beer kinds of situations. This will make you come back to each other with a certain kind of freshness.

· Quit the blame game. Love your husband for what he is. He’s real, not an image picked up from some mush-filled movie or book.

· Laughter. That helps. Use humor to ease out situations. Also no one loves the female version of Snow White’s Grumpy.

· Build up your together time. It’s difficult when you both are busy. But do it. For every time you go separate ways, pencil in time for you as a couple too.

All this makes sense if your marriage is not abusive and causing you immense hardships. In that case it’s best to accept the situation and learn to let go. However be sure of your feelings, your spouse and the realities that bind you before you go either way.

And if you decide it’s worth it then…when the stars are bright and its quiet…link your hands into his, squeeze his hand, look into his eyes, rediscover the passion …and stay…happy and together.