The real estate mantra ‘location, location, location’ could equally well describe the  preoccupation many people have about getting it right in bed; so much so that perfectionism has reduced sex to little more than position, position, position.  This kind of pressure is supposedly all about being creative between the sheets … or should I say on the kitchen table, perhaps with you served up as the whores d’vour?

Starting with ancient sex manuals like the Kama Sutra, much has been written about spicing up your sex life.  But how many of us get turned on by flipping through a manual while trying to crack a hand-stand in pursuit of a new, more imaginative position? 

It stands to reason that the longer you and your partner have been together the more you’re likely to get into the same old habits. But, if the routine satisfies both of you, then what’s the issue with sticking to positions like the missionary, spooning or styles inspired by Fido? 

The missionary got both its name and a bad rep because the idea of male-on-top suited the establishment’s ideas on what was deemed ‘decent’ in the bedroom.  Anyone who has tried it will know that the missionary is one of the hardest positions from which to satisfy a woman and it was only relevant during times when delighting in coitus was considered wicked for women. 

But if the missionary blows your pubic hair back, chuck out the manuals that suggest otherwise and get on with whatever you consider constitutes a good time.

The idea of inventive sex was initiated to break the missionary mould but today the obsession with ‘getting it right’ has made men and women so guarded and self-conscious that it has sucked the creative juices right out of the reality of being satisfactorily laid.  

It’s common knowledge that creativity and perfectionism cannot co-exist, so if you are fixated about which body part may or may not be shaved and whether you are revealing your cellulite or that wobbly bum, then no matter what position you take, sex will just end up being a mission.

The funny thing about vaginas and penises is that both are quite simple tools to operate; neither needs a complicated instruction manual.  The problem is not the tools so much as the workman and, as each of us enjoys different things, the only direction required is to guide your partner to the hotspots that turn you on. 

Humans have been enjoying sex for thousands of years without having to rely upon manuals, toys and faux nurse’s outfits.   So whether you’re getting your rocks off camping in a cave, soaking in a Jacuzzi or having sex on the beach, the only position important to take is to make sure you’re having fun.

Fun and creativity are products of spontaneity and no one can be spontaneous when we plan a strategy as to where, when, how and for how long we’re going to let our hair down.  Structure destroys imagination and when your toes are pinning back your ears, little could be more off-putting than having to turn to page 64 to find out where his arms and legs belong. 

Sex manuals may be good to spark off some new ideas but, once you’re all fired up, put the book down and let your creative urges rise.  It doesn’t really matter what position you land up in as long as you both enjoy getting there.

Do take some precautions though.  I knew a couple who had a preference for backseat bonking at insane hours of the morning.  On one occasion they chose a quiet golf-course parking lot thinking that the only balls in play would be swung by something flimsier than a five-iron.   However, upon reaching the crescendo they were unexpectedly applauded by a group of early-rising caddies who were overjoyed by such an extraordinary hole-in-one.

Laughter releases tension and can also ease awkward moments so, if you want him pitching tents in his Boxers, being naturally playful is more likely to get the big top up than assuming a position.  

Performance anxiety affects both men and women making it difficult for either to rise to the occasion.  Trying too hard will put the kibosh on creativity and this never-ending quest to get sex right is, in fact, the only way to get it really wrong. 

So, for all you’ve ever wanted to know about your position on positions, just ask your fertile imagination and let the hay roll from there on.

Yes and no. What is best sex position depends on a number of factors.  First there are several questions that need to be addressed.  Is it possible that you are able to find out if you are asking the question from your individual point of you? Or are you asking the question because you and this includes your partner want mutually enjoyable sex?  Or last but not the least , are you asking the question from the point of being pregnant?  You see now, do you not, that it is simply not a question of telling you that this sex position is the best or that is better.

There are only half dozen sex positions and the great Indian classic, Kama Sutra says that there are only four sex positions and all the rest are only variations of the four. The acrobatic and ‘twisted knots’ sex positions are merely salad dressing and nothing more.

If you are very tall and heavy, and she is tiny and on the lean side, then any position that has you putting all your weight on her is not a good position.

If a Gallup poll were to be taken of all the sex therapists in the world  and they were asked which sex position is the best, you will find four positions  are mentioned by 90 % of them. They are the woman on top position, the side-by-side position, the woman on all fours and the man  entering her from behind and the woman  lying on her back with her feet held up by the man under his arms so that her lower back is raised and maximum penetration is possible.  The other common factor in all these positions is that the woman receives both clitoral and vaginal stimulation so that she can have orgasms.

The best sex position then is the one that gives both of you maximum pleasure  and if you are both adventurous then there are always variations of these four that you can try. Lots of luck to both of you!

Sex positions have been uppermost in the minds of people ever since the sexual revolution began in the 60s and began a roller-coaster ride into the future of  unbridled sexual free-for-all.  The different forms of sexual intercourse were once the purview of dilettantes and free-living souls. Today it has become the subject of every man and woman who is concerned about having a fruitfully satisfying sexual life.

Different types of sexual intercourse are used to either make sex interesting or to help a man or woman achieve sexual fulfillment if they have been afflicted by a sexual problem.

How many postures are there? There are not more than four or five basic positions and all the rest are merely variations of these four or five positions. The most basic is the Missionary position so called because some African tribal’s in the 17th century saw the western missionary making love to his wife and thus was the name was born! The other more popular ones are rear entry vaginal penetration, woman on top, the side by side spoons and the one where the woman lies on her back with her legs placed on her partner’s shoulders. There are also the standing, kneeling or sitting sex positions.  In the standing sex position the woman has her back to a solid support slightly raised so that the man can easily penetrate her.  In the sitting posture the man sits with leg outstretched and the woman sits atop him with her legs wrapped around him. In a variation the man sits in a chair and the woman straddles him with her feet on the floor.

There are other unusual forms like the ‘Seventh Posture’. This is described fully in Burton’s translation of ‘The Perfumed Garden’. Briefly the woman lies on her side and the man straddles her lower leg and lifts her upper leg on to his shoulder or holds it under his arm.

Sex positions are found in any of the classical erotic manuals of the East like the Kama Sutra (Sanskrit), The Perfumed Garden (Arabic), Sunu miaoshan or The Admirable Discourses of the Plain Girl (Chinese) and Ishimpo or the Essence of Medical Prescriptions (Japanese).  These books are much more than sex manuals they are pieces of classical literature enlightening and entertaining.